Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize