That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
