Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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