no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
