I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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