I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
