i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
