We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
