We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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