Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
