I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
