they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
