Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
love makes seman taste better
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Randomize
