My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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