hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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