Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
