the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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