Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
