it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
