Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
