Who did Billy Mays play for?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
