people are starting to question the shark bite story
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
