and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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