he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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