Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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