I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
