is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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