he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
