bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize