I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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