I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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