I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
