There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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