I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
