What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
