I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
