this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
