i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
