I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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