Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
