I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
