the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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