Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
