I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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