There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
