At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
