I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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