I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize