my phone needs a breathalizer
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize