Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
