You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
