my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
