I think I died a long time ago.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
