My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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