Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
