i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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