Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize