come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
send nudes
from the living room?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
