arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
